DR. MAX PEMBERTON: Meghan Markle’s Toxic Positivity – A Damaging Message to Mums

Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex, has been a central figure in global conversations for years. From her royal duties to her media presence, Meghan has not only garnered attention but also sparked debates about the impact of her statements and actions.

Most recently, her TV show has come under fire for what many, including myself, believe is a dangerous form of toxic positivity, especially when it comes to the messaging she sends to mothers. While Meghan's intentions may seem pure—empowering women and promoting self-care—her approach, I argue, perpetuates unrealistic expectations that can ultimately harm rather than help new mothers.

Toxic positivity, a concept that has gained recognition in recent years, is the idea that people should maintain a relentlessly cheerful, optimistic attitude regardless of the circumstances. It's about pushing through difficult emotions with a smile, rejecting anything deemed negative, and suppressing natural feelings of frustration, sadness, or even anger. T

he problem with this mindset is that it often leads to the suppression of authentic emotions and unrealistic expectations that can exacerbate stress and mental health issues, particularly for mothers.

Meghan Markle’s portrayal of motherhood, both in her show and in public appearances, often falls into this trap. She paints a picture of an idyllic, fulfilling experience that disregards the challenges many women face in reality.

Instead of acknowledging the difficulties, the emotional strain, and the mental health challenges that can accompany motherhood, she seems to present a version of parenthood where everything is sunshine and rainbows. While promoting self-care is essential, especially for new mothers, it should not be at the expense of acknowledging the complexities of motherhood.

One of the most glaring issues with Meghan’s portrayal is the idea that self-care can solve all problems. In her show, she discusses the importance of “me time” and prioritizing one’s own well-being.

While these are important concepts, her emphasis on them can lead to guilt and shame for mothers who struggle to find time for themselves amidst the chaos of parenting. Not every mother has the luxury of taking a break or indulging in self-care activities.

Many are juggling demanding jobs, the needs of multiple children, and their own personal challenges. For some, the notion that self-care should be a priority can feel exclusionary and judgmental, further alienating those who feel they are failing to live up to these unrealistic standards.

Meghan’s messaging also tends to focus on the idea of doing it all. She talks about balancing a successful career, raising children, and maintaining a happy family life.

While it’s admirable to encourage women to pursue their ambitions, this messaging overlooks the reality that for many mothers, achieving this kind of balance is incredibly difficult, if not impossible. There’s an inherent pressure in suggesting that women should be able to maintain the perfect equilibrium between career and family while also staying upbeat and energized.

This false narrative places undue pressure on mothers, many of whom already feel overwhelmed and exhausted. It can lead to feelings of inadequacy and failure when they inevitably fall short of these unattainable ideals.

Another issue with Meghan’s approach is her apparent disregard for the emotional struggles many mothers face. Her show offers glimpses into her own life, where she talks about overcoming difficulties with the help of her supportive husband, Prince Harry.

While this is an admirable portrayal of a healthy partnership, it inadvertently minimizes the struggles of single mothers or those who may not have access to the same level of support. The notion that motherhood is only challenging when you don’t have the right support system paints a misleading picture of the realities many women face.

Not every mother has a partner who is equally committed or a family that can offer assistance. For many, the reality is that they must navigate the challenges of motherhood alone, which can be isolating and overwhelming.

Toxic positivity in the media is particularly damaging when it comes to new mothers, as they are already navigating a difficult transition. The pressures to bounce back after childbirth, to maintain a career, to stay in shape, and to be the perfect, smiling parent create an impossible standard.

When figures like Meghan Markle present an overly simplistic and idealized version of motherhood, it only deepens the sense of inadequacy that many mothers feel. Instead of providing solace and solidarity, this kind of messaging alienates women who are struggling with postpartum depression, anxiety, and the overwhelming nature of raising children.

It fails to create space for the full range of emotions that motherhood entails, reinforcing the idea that only positive, happy feelings are acceptable.

What’s needed in the conversation around motherhood is authenticity. We need to talk openly about the struggles and hardships, about the moments of doubt and exhaustion that are part of every mother’s experience.

We need to create a culture where women can express their frustrations and not feel guilty for doing so. Meghan’s message, while well-intentioned, fails to achieve this.

Her version of motherhood is sanitized and filtered through a lens of perfect happiness, which only serves to perpetuate harmful ideals.

Ultimately, Meghan Markle’s approach to motherhood on her TV show reflects a broader societal issue of toxic positivity. While self-care and positivity are undoubtedly important, they should never come at the expense of acknowledging the real, raw challenges of parenthood.

By perpetuating an unrealistic ideal of what motherhood should look like, Meghan inadvertently sends a damaging message to new mothers, reinforcing the notion that if you’re not constantly happy and “doing it all,” you’re failing. It’s time for a more honest, compassionate conversation about motherhood—one that embraces both the highs and the lows.